Nabisco sucks all the fun out of the Cookie Carnival
Last night I was at the bodega after practice, buying some essentials and looking for a post-practice meal. I was ravenous and just about anything was a candidate. I wanted some cookies, as I didn’t have anything dessert-like in my cupboards at the time, so I parked myself in front of the cookie shelf to decide. I’d had Mother’s Circus Animal cookies on the brain recently after reading that they were back after the company filed for bankruptcy. The bodega didn’t have Mother’s, but it had Nabisco’s version instead. There was the bag full of just animal cookies but there was also the Cookie Carnival!
My thought process went a little like this:
Mmm, cookies…hrm…animal cookies…Frosted animal cookies, better…Wait, Cookie Carnival?! Chocolate snaps, chocolate chip, AND frosted animal cookies? WIN.
So I picked up the $3.99 bag o’ fun and went home to devour it along with my Celeste pepperoni pizza (yes, I know this was not the dinner of champions, but after 3 hours of roller derby I deserve to eat whatever I want).
I opened the bag without looking inside, dipped my hand in and munched happily on some chocolate snaps and chocolate chip cookies. I had repeated this a few times when I had the thought that I hadn’t yet encountered any of the animal cookies. So I looked into the bag, which was mostly snaps and chocolate chip cookies. I dug around and pulled out all the animal cookies. This is what I got:
Only 6 animal cookies in the entire bag! Let’s put this into perspective. The serving size is 5 cookies. There are, supposedly, 9 servings in the bag, totaling 45 cookies. Six of them are animal cookies, so that means 13.3% of the cookies in the bag are animal cookies. There are three kinds of cookies in the Cookie Carnival. I expect that the distribution of cookies would be evenly divided among the three types, so 33.3% of the cookies should be animal cookies. For that to happen, I should have a total of 15 animal cookies in the bag, but 9 of those cookies are missing! Where are my missing animal cookies? This Cookie Carnival disappoints me.
I would have taken out all the cookies and sorted them according to type to see if a) the number of cookies in the bag was close to 45, as stated on the package, and b) the cookies were evenly distributed. But I had already eaten several cookies before noticing this injustice, so that skewed the results. A peek inside the bag shows that after eating approximately 10 cookies, there’s still an overabundance of chocolate snaps and chocolate chip cookies. Not that I have anything against chocolate snaps and chocolate chip cookies, but I really wanted the full quota of animal cookies. Look at the package, there are two animal cookies on the front and one each of the other types. This gives the impression that there are a lot of animal cookies in there, right? After all, they make up half of the cookie population depicted on the package. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to believe that there would be more than the paltry 13.3% of the total.
Also, take a closer look at the cookies:
What kind of animals are these supposed to be, anyway? The one on the far right is the only one that is even vaguely animal shaped. I don’t expect to be able to tell exactly what animal each one is, but at least the Mother’s kind had discernible legs and heads. These indistinguishable lumps do not deserve the fun of being called animal cookies.
Nabisco has obviously failed in their Cookie Carnival. Next time, I’ll hunt down Mother’s Circus Animals instead.